Conversations

the_g@l_i_just_met:
hmmm pensive..
it wnt do justice if i search for it
u shld search for it
wld be better
wld feel personal then


balls_of_steel:
I din't ask you to search for it.
Just in case, you come across such a picture.
By any chance.


the_g@l_i_just_met:
hau hela re baba (alright mate)


balls_of_steel:
I'm sorry. I think i'm being kinda difficult.


the_g@l_i_just_met:
nopes
i m good wid difficult ppl


balls_of_steel:
Diplomatic answer.


the_g@l_i_just_met:
no
i really am good wid difficult ppl
especially guys
was wid one for sever yrs u see


balls_of_steel:
Shut up. Not something you'd just joke about.
To a stranger like me.
You see.
He was ur guy re.


the_g@l_i_just_met:
m nt joking
he was a difficult guy
i mean very difficult to understand
n i loved that
i like difficult guys


balls_of_steel:
I think its better we not talk about this.
Like i said, you can nver really trust me.


the_g@l_i_just_met:
wat wld u do?
i mean wid this topic/


balls_of_steel:
I don't know.
Maybe i'm simply freaking out.
But i'm really sorry, if you find me odd at the moment.


the_g@l_i_just_met:
freak out?
why?
i mean
i dnt get it
why wld u freak out?


balls_of_steel:
Something just happened.


the_g@l_i_just_met:
wat happened?


balls_of_steel:
Will talk sometime about it. When i am saner.


the_g@l_i_just_met:
saner?
i thought u wr sane a few mins ago


balls_of_steel:
Few minutes seems to be a hell lot of a time, when you conversing on the phone with a gurl you used to date and talking simultaneously to another good frend on Facebook.
*used to date once


the_g@l_i_just_met:
oh
u wr on the phone?
wid ur ex?


balls_of_steel:
Ex, note xactly.
But ex's are bitches. Bigtime.
A confession.


the_g@l_i_just_met:
nt true
nt always
cmon


balls_of_steel:
I can't think much now.
My mind is jammed.
Its a long bad story re.


the_g@l_i_just_met:
kya hua re?
what she talk about?


balls_of_steel:
nothing. All bullcrap.
maybe, some guy dumped her of late.
And what am i.?
Spare wheel.?


the_g@l_i_just_met:
cmon
maybe she was just depressed
wanted smone she can trust to talk to
so she called you


balls_of_steel:
Tell you what.? For the record, She is not a nice lady.


the_g@l_i_just_met:
ok maybe i shldt comment whn i dnt knw her


balls_of_steel:
Or maybe i just hate her, unconditionally.
But to be honest
~ before she happened to me, Ex-Gfs used to be so much fun.
But not anymore.


the_g@l_i_just_met:
lolz
wats that supposed to mean


balls_of_steel:
I said na, bahut lamba story.
I'll tell you over coffee kal, maybe.


the_g@l_i_just_met:
hau (alright)
muh sunibi (I'm all ears)
How's your mood now?


balls_of_steel:
Yes. Metallicca helps.


the_g@l_i_just_met:
hmmm
sun i gtg offline
muh moh frnd lappy ru online thli (Been online from a friend's notebook)
i ll try to cm online
so unless i cm online again,
nite nite
sd
n peace to you.


balls_of_steel:
yes. I like peace.
good nite


--the_g@l_i_just_met has logged out. When the fuck will you? And oh, you can send an off-liner given that you are such a prick and such a dummy like the_g@l_i_used_to_date had told you, in the face. Yes, that bitch. Or so you assume. Now just try suppressing the involuntary frustration you have in you and stop stalking good girls under my nose. Please get a life you ass, for your own good. Your's truly, Chat Engine--

Rains.

Login.

Facebook-> Notes-> Write a Note-> 
Why do rains have to be so cruel, calculating and contemplative, condescending at times?
In a time like this, i feel like shedding a tear or two everytime it pours. Tears of pain, regret. Period. I can't stand that tear on Amma's eyes with whatever happened a while back. Even though it had always been destiny's call with stuff like this and nobody could avert such a thing, i so wish i could do a thing or two, to make her feel better. Even the pyre won't burn properly with such a rain around, I thought. But my heart did burn, nevertheless.
We have our own problems to take care of. Problems with grades, to begin with. We fuck it up, voluntarily.
Secondly, problems with girl(s). No matter how much we try to set things right, we end up screwed, involuntarily. But then isn't life about carrying all these many problems/issues/ complex/ think-of-a-more-cockier-name-shit in your satchel and moving on. Life has been shit, showing me the door, all this time.
So now, what do i do? give it back the shit? Or do i get busy with washing all the shit it's been giving me? In this very rain. Eh?
Was it the same me, who once upon a time used to eagerly wait for the showers?
And at times when they didn't materialise, would land himself into a prolonged fit of mood swings- the bad and ugly ones.? Bitch.
Save Draft-> Logout.

This one had been lying in my drafts since a year or so. This was when, it had first rained last year. Things were real bad then. High on emotions, i typed this out. Today's rain reminded me of this. Feeling the first rain, it never felt so good like today. Couldn't have asked for a better time to share this out. 
Life has taken a perfect circle. After reading this, i put forth my belief on the fact that time heals all.
Sure it does :)

Random Memoirs #2

Those blood-shot eyes screamed heart-break all over, yet again.

He took a glance at his wrist and grinned wickedly, almost like a kid.

The swiss knife did a pretty nice and neat job, he thought.

The pain had begun to slacken, as he slowly went off his senses and moved towards dreamscape.

Even though, his reddened eyes screamed vengeance, he could do nothing about it.

The doctors tried, and the nurses chanted silent prayers.

That's it, he said. and then he arised. He tore the ventilator pipes off his system.

When he reached the door of the cabin, he felt like turning back. And so he did.

They were busy zipping him up and the mortuary guys were pulling the strecher in.

He smiled at his flesh. He had never felt this way. this better.

Random Memoirs

And Life takes a perfect circle. Now, i very much believe in the fact that What goes around, comes back around. You do good to people, better things happen to you. You do bad with them, shit happens to you in the same way and style you made it happen to them. Either ways, in the end it comes back to you. Its feels good, this big lesson of life has been learnt.

Brk-Up

S,
When we were holding hands, sitting together on the bench at that so called 'Lover's Park' with your head resting  coyly on my shoulder, it was so beautiful, so lovely back then. Fuck! Did we actually love each other?
But how different are things now? They changed up so fast! For the good i guess.
I surely don't miss you at those weekend eat-out sessions at the Chaat Street or even when i'm dining alone at my flat after a boring office shift.
I'm not reminded of you even when i see the couples cosy-ing up at the beach At that moment, the good ol' Milds and a Masala Chai give me company.
I can still re-count that it was really sexy, the way you used to drink your tea. The one single bit of milk cream that stuck on the edge of your wet lips used to turn me on. I used to try hard to resist the urge to kiss you, which i failed to do so, Of course.
Now i don't miss you when i wake up to the mundane lonely mornings. Heck! i don't get it of why i always want to wake up to you. Even though i miss that black you make, The Latte' from Barista works for me. 
Its been a year and a half i guess, hope you have moved on. Honestly, i have got over it. Its over for me. But still there are bits and pieces of  you in me that i need to detach myself from get rid of.
And believe me S, its the toughest part. I'll try to do it my way, don't worry. For i kissed a cactus and it showed me the love.
 I know that you are pissed off on the fact that i didn't speak to you at Shrav's wedding last week. The truth is that i was too drunk to stand upright. The text you sent me later that evening in you said that i'm immature, i was hurt. But believe me baby, all it took me was three shots of Absolut to blank out. I didn't give a shit to it.


Okay this is it. Maybe i still love you, or maybe i don't. I'm confused, i don't know. 
Anyways, for the moment,
 My love is gone.
And i'll say that a hundred times over.


Your's in Pain,
S*

Broken. Part #2/3

This post is the second part of a Three-piece story. For those who wish to read it, Its highly recommended you through the first part of the story. Click here. And the ones who have already done it, Please proceed. For your kind consideration - 




"Everything's gonna be in place. Just in time." He still thought.


Separation.


TWO MONTHS LATER...


"Life's all Screwed Up."
              This was the 34th time he was tweeting the same message since he came home after his college had finished. He switched to the next tab of his browser which had a Wikipedia article on 'CLOZE'.


'CLOZE' was an anti-depressant.Technically speaking it is a grade II tranquilizer which in Clinical terms is known as 'Sleeping Pills'.
Suresh's father was one of the most respected persons in the city's business scene. His interests lied in Real estate, scrap iron trade. But his biggest business was the distribution of pharmaceutical drugs and medicines. He was a giant in this particular domain and almost all pharmacists and Doctors of the city, directly or indirectly dealt with him. 
No wonder, why Suresh had to check the dosages on the internet instead of seeing a doc and fetching the pills through an acquaintance instead of buying it himself, Over the counter.
He reached for his drawer, took out a tablet from the strip of six, swallowed it in a moment and gulped down water in another. It tasted sweet. "So does Poison..", he thought.
A heavy stupor drove him to a state of sub-consciousness. The tab was kicking in and so did all those sweet bitter memories.
He re-counted their first meeting. Around three years ago.

 EXAM HALL- 31 / INTERNALS START IN 5 MINUTES -> The first encounter

  Suresh and Nidhi happen to be seat-mates.

S: " Guess what? Had 7 cups of coffee last night, and a peg o' Vodka this morning. The perfect solution to the perfect combo of Nocturnal studies and early morning exam blues."

N: " Why you saying that to me? I'm least bothered. don't you see?"

S: "Ummm..I thought, You might just be interested."

N: "stop dreaming, Drunko! And yes, Coffee/Vodka won't do any good to your paper. Cramming some formulae at this eleventh hour might just help..H= I²RT, H_rms=0.637I²R…...."

'Beep beep..Ghrrr..Beep beep', his phone buzzed to some stupid tele-marketing text, frustrating enough to wake him up from sleep.
He checked the time.
Fuck! It was 2AM and he had been asleep for nearly 13 hours.
He Pee-ed and then came back to the drawer. this time, he wanted more, a double dose maybe. Yes, he hated being awake, being in sense. He tried his best but couldn't accept things as they were.In short, he detested reality and gulped down two, sorry three pills at a time.
He was killing himself and he very well knew that, but wish he could help it.
This time, in his state of trance he did something he hadn't done before. He wanted to peek into it once before he could incinerate it, or himself.
He reached for the drawer and took out the cream colored card-board envelope which read,

||  शुभ विवाह ||

This card was something different, he marked. A killer in disguise. He opened the envelope and slowl, gently pulled out the card, he gazed into it for five minutes and said to himself, "this ain't reality. 'am on a high and am stoned. nd this isn't happening..."

He slept off..... 
He woke up all of a sudden.Despite the pills, he couldn't get a proper sleep. This time however, he woke up in his senses.The first thing he did was to reach for the invite.
This card was something different, like he had marked. Yes, the names of the groom and the bride were missing on the envelope.


He opened the card and read:

OM SHRI........Our Daughter

Nidhi

Weds

_________________

...........................

.........RSVP.........

  ...................

There were two more paper sheets in the envelope he had skipped and now wanted to see.

The first one read ->

"FILL IN THE BLANKS DUFFR.

DIY."

"MUAAH! KISSES! HUGS!

AND APOLOGIES. IN CASE ITS NECESSARY."

"In case its necessary!!", he grinned as he read and went on the the second sheet which read something like this ->

"MARRY ME? PLIJJJ? :P

PS: ON GETTING THIS DO NOT BOTHER CALLING

ME UP. MEET ME AT THE HALFWAY, YOU KNOW WHERE.

6:30PM.

I'LL BE WAITING, BYE."

He knew where.

(contd.)