Okay. I know that I've been an asshole all this time. Period.
Not that i'm proclaiming or complaining. Its just something i seldom do, ie. speaking my heart out.
Things have been not so good to me of late. Its really complicated to elaborate, but i'd try to do so.
Someone had once explained to me, people never tend to change, they stay as they are. Its the circumstances that change and shift phases in levels and multitudes.
And that was precisely what happened, in my case. Drastically, things that i once used to hate started culminating within me and cunningly attached them to my existence, piece by piece. Things that were *not so me*, bit by bit. I always thought that i was a happy person. Not exactly somebody, who would lock himself up in his room two days straight, whose mom would secure all loose electrical points and connections in his room just in case a self-gratifying thought of *you know what* comes across his otherwise sane mind. Worst case, she'd even take away all the things that'd make you bleed. Namely safety razor, the heart-shaped pencil sharpener, nail clippers, the Ganesha that was chiseled out of a single block of glass, et al just because he has listening to Lamb Of God a lot, lately.
No wonder of why i used to sport a weird beard back then.
"People don't change baby, circumstances do.", that was the direct quote.
:x
The feeling of betraying somebody and feeling of being betrayed are bad in their own levels.
*deep shit* in my lingo.
But what if, you put yourself in such an arrangement, that you'd feel both at the same time.?
Is there any manner by which you could do justice to yourself in such a position?
Could you forgive somebody and seek forgiveness,both at once?
Tell you what. Been there, done that.
But anyways, that was then.
And today i realize that I was born free. And it were the circumstances that chained me.
And this very moment, i Break it away.
But then, don't you think that sometimes its safer to be in chains, than to be free?
Thoughts still keep on fighting within my mind as i get on to fight my mood swings.
Tell you what, they are real bad.
1 comment:
Liked it a lot :)
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